lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
