You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
