Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
