woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
