i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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