Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's never too late to be topless.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
BRING THE BAGELS
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
