All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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