I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
