1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
