If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
