Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
