My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
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Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize