I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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