can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
When did we convert life to cartoon?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
