We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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