I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
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Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
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You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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