Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i already hear my dad disowning me
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
