You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
