You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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