Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
