So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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