i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
