I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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