what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
