who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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