We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm getting married
To pizza
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
