Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize