i think my tv is drunk
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
