He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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