GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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