my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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