so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just forgot I was standing up.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
