sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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