im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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