I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
a search helicopter?!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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