It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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