If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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