when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
