There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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