I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
