I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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