he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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