I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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