Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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