no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
