Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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