he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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