i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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