I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
