Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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