i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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