You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
operation have a gay friend backfired
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Please don't give away my fajitas
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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