He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
