when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
