I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
