I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
