I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
