How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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