i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Ladies don't puke and tell
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
