ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
