I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Someone came in the potted fern
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
