): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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